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Post by aj on Nov 9, 2012 18:12:41 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style,
background-color: #f1f1f1; width: 400px; border: 20px #C9C9C9 solid, bTable][STYLE=font-family: times; font-size: 40; letter-spacing: -4px; color: #000000; text-align: left; margin-bottom: -45px;]YOU'RE KILLIN' THEM.[/style]
There wasn't much to do outside. AJ had his earbuds in, and a soft piano broke way to drums behind Sage Francis' voice rapping, And from up here I see Marines and Hummers on a conquest; / Underdogs with wonderbras in a push-up contest, / All for the sake of military recruitment. AJ quietly rapped along to himself, his pen dancing over the page before him. AJ never ate during his lunch period. It was free time, time to unwind. Getting through a school day was hard. His chest was bound too tight that day, and he could feel his lungs pressing up against his ribs. He shifted uncomfortably, but there was nothing he could do. He didn't dare loosen it in the bathroom. You could see through the cracks in the stalls. It was too risky. He knew. When he was alive, using the bathroom was a health risk. It didn't matter which bathroom he used.
There had been a time, when he was still alive, when AJ used the men's restroom in a movie theater not far from his apartment for the first time. He fiddled with his packer for an uncomfortable amount of time before another guy came into the bathroom. Most of the time, guys don't try to look at another guy's junk. But this time was different, and he found himself pushed up against the wall: "Got no dick, huh faggot?"
AJ shook his head. He didn't want to think about that right now. He pulled his earphones out his ears. The drums were distracted him from his writing. Or maybe they were making him nervous. Or maybe he felt like, if he let his ears be open, he might be able to breathe better. It didn't help much. He shifted again, tugging at the binder in a vain attempt to loosen its grip on his chest. His eyes scanned the courtyard, to make sure no one could see him messing around with something under his shirt. Not that he thought anyone would suspect anything other than, "maybe his undershirt rolled up."
Day -- God doesn't even know how many days have passed now, he wrote, because God isn't real, yet he still abandoned us so long ago. Now my foot is stuck... He pressed his pen to his lip. His wrist was cramping. Maybe he wrote too much. Or maybe it was from struggling with his chest binder. Whatever, who knows. He needed to rest. He slapped the book shut and slipped it into his pocket along with the pen, and slumped over, elbows resting on his knees, to people watch.
[STYLE=font-size: 9px; text-align: center; width: 300px; line-height: 10px; color: #141414; border-top: 5px #C9C9C9 solid;] WORDS 437 TAGS JASEY? WEARING this NOTES short, i know. sorry. CREDIT coded by butters of btn [/style] |
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Post by Jasey Rae Collins on Nov 9, 2012 20:09:51 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
Having a life on repeat is never easy. Especially when there's no room to move forward. And Jasey was still getting used to the fact that she was never going to hit eighteen years old. Never getting the chance to actually be a legit adult. Granted, as more years passed she'd get 'older' in the mind, but physically, she'd never change. It wasn't so bad. After all, who honestly wanted to get wrinkles and everything!? But being stuck as a high schooler? No thanks. Sure, she could still graduate and everything eventually, but nothing was really the same as it had been. It was a nice change though to be able to be in classes again, instead of having to do all her course work from her bed when she had been sick. Home schooling had sucked, completely. It had felt like she had to be locked away just to study.
But now she could mingle with other people, her physical age, at least. The last few years of her life had her only seeing her family or her doctor. And she was such a bubbly person usually, that having to be constantly sheltered and protected from things that could exert too much of her energy, was hell. She had missed being able to interact and have fun with other people. In New Haven, everything seemed to be almost back to normal. The only piece missing was her family. Sure, she missed her friends, but it wasn't much different than if she had moved to another state or something. But going every day without seeing her parents or her brother, was hard. She tried not to let it get to her, and tried to be that upbeat, cheerful girl that everyone knew and loved.
But there were sometimes that all Jase wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. And since she had only been in New Haven for all of almost five months, their faces were still ver fresh in her mind. She had sketched pictures of them to keep with her, since she hadn't been able to bring actual photos with her when she died. Mostly because she knew that the longer she was here, the visions she had of them would slowly disappear. And that was something she was never going to let happen. Not as long as she had her sketch to remind her of them. Their faces stared up at her as she looked at the paper, smoothing out the edges. It seemed like yesterday they were all together at home. She sighed lightly, folding the sheet of paper back up, and sticking it in her back pocket.
The petite girl stood up from her seat, taking a few seconds to get back into her happy place before walking out to the school courtyard. Time to find something else to do other than wallow in the past. Her brown eyes caught sight of a boy scribbling in a notebook, and her curiosity got the best of her. She moved towards the boy, placing a smile on her face as she got closer. "Mind if I join you? I'm Jasey by the way." She stuck her hand out to be polite before moving to sit down on the bench next to the boy. Bubbly Jasey was back out to play. A part of her wanted to know what means brought her companion to New Haven, but she was smart enough to know that most people here weren't huge fans of spilling their guts about their demise to complete strangers. So, this was going to be a play-it-by-ear type of day.
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Post by aj on Nov 9, 2012 20:39:50 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style,
background-color: #f1f1f1; width: 400px; border: 20px #C9C9C9 solid, bTable][STYLE=font-family: times; font-size: 40; letter-spacing: -4px; color: #000000; text-align: left; margin-bottom: -45px;]YOU'RE KILLIN' THEM.[/style]
AJ peered up as a girl introduced herself. "Mind if I join you? I'm Jasey by the way." He gave her a quick once over, even though you couldn't draw conclusions about a person from the way they dressed; however, he did take note of her shirt. DREAM AS IF YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER. Funny, since in New Haven, you basically will live forever. Love as if you will die tomorrow. That made his heart jump a bit. He'd never loved anyone. Sometimes he wondered if it was still possible to fall in love once you'd already died. He never thought there would be an afterlife. Everything else seemed to function just the same, so he assumed, sure, it was probably possible. Which, in turn, meant everything bad was still here. He tensed, cautious. People didn't usually approach him.
"AJ,
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[/color]" he responded. He liked to keep it short and sweet.To the point. Although, his writing would say otherwise. And then, she sat next to him, despite the fact that he hadn't said whether or not he minded. He didn't. He felt himself become suddenly intrigued as to how she got here. Sometimes, he played a game with himself. It was a sick game; he would try to guess how people died. He didn't peg her for a suicide. Maybe she died in an accident, or maybe from natural causes, though from what natural causes, he had no idea. She looked perfectly healthy to him. " Just got here,[/color]" he wondered if other people were curious about when and how people arrived in New Haven as well. He looked at the people in the courtyard. Accident. Accident. Suicide. Accident. He didn't like to think that people would be here because they were murdered. It was also unsettling to think there were probably other people like him here, too. And not just people who had also killed themselves, but people who had, maybe, killed themselves for similar reason. How politically incorrect would it be to ask people how they died? He'd been asked a few times, but he never told the truth. He made things up. Stuff along the lines of: "Eaten by a crocodile," or "trampled by elephants who escaped the zoo." People believed it too, no idea why. AJ glanced at Jasey's shoes. Was that leopard print or cheetah print? [/div] [STYLE=font-size: 9px; text-align: center; width: 300px; line-height: 10px; color: #141414; border-top: 5px #C9C9C9 solid;] WORDS 390 TAGS jasey WEARING this NOTES short, again. phhhbt. CREDIT coded by butters of btn [/style] [/center][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by Jasey Rae Collins on Nov 10, 2012 20:49:47 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
Being able to see that proverbial silver lining in every situation seemed to come naturally to Jasey. And even though she knew she was actually dead, and that all of this was just a way to mend through all the chaos, she wanted to treat it just like it was actual life. Where everyone wasn’t in limbo or anything. So to fill up that little void, she was going to try like hell to make some friends and make this whole situation just a little less depressing. And just like she had back on Earth, she sought out those that seemed quieter, in hopes that she could bring them out of their shells. Which, was why her attention had focused on the boy writing. That, and he was the only person close by anyway.
She smiled as he said his name. AJ. Cool, new possible friend in the making! “Nice to meet you.” She hoped she wasn’t being completely rude and interrupting anything important, but he didn’t seem pissed off that she sat down. And that was usually a good sign. She crossed one leg over the other, rolling the apple she had in her pocket between her hands. She didn’t even know why she had brought the fruit with her, since she wasn’t even hungry. That was one thing she had noticed since she had come to New Haven. While she was still able to eat and everything, she wasn’t as hungry as she had been when she was alive. Food just didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. Oh well.
The petite seventeen year old blinked as her companion spoke again, looking over at him. Just got here? Huh, another new person to this place. “Yeah? Me too. Well, kind of… I came here in the middle of July…” Jasey’s brown eyes dropped to the ground as her shoes scuffed at the grass beneath her feet. But, she supposed that compared to some of the other people in New Haven, she was very new. She was just trying to make the best of it so far. Her knee bounced a little before she spoke again. “So, what were you writing? I’m a bit of a songwriter myself.” Well, she tried to be at least. Since she hadn’t been able to bring either her guitar or keyboard with her when she died, all the money she made at work now was going to go straight for those.
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