Post by aj on Nov 8, 2012 9:57:15 GMT -6
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jinah "aj leighton" park
jinah "aj leighton" park
 [style=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #2D2729; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]P H Y S I C A L Hair Color: brown [/style]Eye Color: brown Height: 5'5" Weight: 119lbs Distinguishing Features: aj has scars in places he'd rather not discuss, but his hatred for being trapped in the wrong body shows across his skin. he keeps it mostly on the hush-hush though. he was barely old enough to get tattoos before he died, and though he wanted a full sleeve, he was only successful in getting a half sleeve on his left arm. it's not fully colored, still mostly black lines, though some of the leaves in the design had been colored in green in his last appointment with his tattoo artist. he also has his ears pierced multiple times. Play By: Amber Liu General Overview: his family had always pressured him to be as his body dictated -- female, but he never had it. from a young age, aj wore looser shirts and pants, and boyish hats. he liked to keep his hair short, and when he wasn't permitted, he would cut it himself. every day became a mission to be seen as male, because every time someone called him ma'am, it was like being stabbed in the chest. he often bleaches his hair, and tries out different hair styles. he's tried everything from cornrows to dreads, but currently sports a two-toned faux-hawk. | [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,220,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6F68B4;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 11px; height: 425px; width: 220px; overflow: auto; color: #ffffff;]G E N E R A L |
Full Name: jinah (pronounced jenna) "aj leighton" park
Nicknames: aj, jay
Age: 18
Birthdate: september 18
Sexuality: demisexual
School: new haven high school, senior
Job: starbucks barista
Group: suicide
P E R S O N A L I T Y[/i]
Likes:
- writing - it's hard coping with dysphoria. there was never a lot he could do to make himself feel comfortable with his skin, but writing has always been a way to escape. when he holds the pen in his hand, it's like everything else disappears. there's him, there's the words on the paper, nothing else. he primarily wrote short stories, flash fiction, and prose poetry, though he occasionally dabbled in free verse.
- coffee - aj is not a morning person. he never has been. he was always the kid whose mother had to drag him out of bed every morning to get him to school, even when was in kindergarten. when he got into middle school, there was little he could do to get himself up besides drinking coffee. at first, it made him sick, but now, he isn't sure if he could get through the day without out, lest he find himself passed out on the sidewalk somewhere in new haven.
- dancing - this is more of a secret hobby than anything. aj's guilty pleasure is hip hop, and he spent the good portion of the last seven years of his life learning how to break dance. he'd always been a pretty good dancer, though he never found himself in the center of a crowd of people bustin' moves, because he was embarrassed by this passion of his. he secretly wished he could take dance classes, and hone his skill.
- music - whether it be folk, rap, rock, punk, or classical, aj loves it. he'd never been a big fan of country music, but he could jam out to anything he found on the radio. he was a little ashamed of it, and typically didn't let people know that he had just rocked out to katy perry in the car. he was just an audiophile. he loved to hear things, but it didn't hurt if the music had great lyrics. his personal favorite is sage francis, but the radio rarely played underground hip hop by white rappers.
- books - it's easy to lose yourself in a book, and aj does it frequently. it's like a fantasy, some place else he can put himself, a getaway. he doesn't like trashy romance novels, and he hates things like twilight and 50 shades of grey, and honestly, he doesn't even like anne rice novels because he thinks vampires and paranormal novels are overrated. his favorite book is 100 years of solitude by gabriel garcia marquez, and he guesses he has a little bit of a thing for magic realism. it'd be great to see magical elements blend with the real world.
Dislikes:
- his family - they hated who he was. and though he still has a weird special place for them in his heart, he hates them, too. it's a weird feeling. he wants his family to be happy, but he doesn't want anything to do with them, just like they don't want anything to do with him. they disowned him when he confirmed their suspicions: that he wasn't normal, he wasn't their little girl, and he never had been. he was a boy, but they didn't want a son. and if they couldn't have their daughter, they didn't want a child at all. they fought a lot, but in the end, they told aj to pack his bags and don't come back unless he changed his mind.
- children - aj likes babies. he thinks they're really swell, and the little noises they make are adorable. he just wants to tickle their feet and pinch their cheeks and hold them, and cuddle them; however, when they grow up, and learn how to talk, they suddenly aren't cute anymore. they can talk. and they never shut up. they ask questions, and they ask why, and aj hates being asked questions if they are even remotely similar to, "what's the sky made of? how does grass grow? where do babies come from?" he doesn't have enough patience to deal with it.
- fast food - there's nothing worse than indigestion. okay, maybe that's an over-exaggeration, but indigestion is still pretty horrible. every single time aj has ever attempted to eat cheap drive-thru food, he has gotten it, the heartburn, the acid reflux, the whole nine yards. it didn't help that the food was disgusting, either. he preferred to eat at home. even ramen noodles were better than a big mac.
- being touched - aj is soft, like girls are wont to do. so he hates being touched. he hates being hugged. he hates anyone coming into his personal space, which he deems to be about a foot or two.
- transphobia - and just prejudice in general. prejudice is something aj has dealt with all his life.
Strengths:
- friendly and witty - aj is generally friendly and sociable. he has a very dry sense of humor, and delivers his jokes in a casual, deadpan manner. he is typically unflappably calm, though he will occasionally crack a smile if other people find his joke humorous. he's very sarcastic, and sometimes people have difficulty telling if he's serious or not.
- straightforward - though sometimes this can be weakness, aj is very frank and honest with people. he is unafraid to speak his mind, and to stand up for himself and others. although he is usually amiable, he will sometimes be harshly straightforward, especially if he isn't particularly fond of someone.
- flexible - and i don't mean just with his schedule. the kid is like a gymnast. he can stick his feet behind his head, but he also adapts well to new situations. when he killed himself, he was hoping for an out, but he's adapted well to life in new haven. he isn't persuaded easily, but he can be bent in many directions without snapping.
Weaknesses:
- snarky and defensive - sometimes he can get snarky and defensive, especially if he hasn't had his coffee. though he is normally very friendly, it isn't difficult to flip right onto his bad side, and end up with his rapier wit stuck through your stomach. he occasionally will push people away, especially as he gets closer to them, and especially if they recognize him as male. he doesn't want anyone to know what he's hiding beneath his clothes.
- cynical - he was always cynical. he believed that life wasn't worthwhile, and he always doubted that things would get better. despite being dead now, he still doubts everything. he doubts he could ever be in a relationship much more than a shallow friendship, because he doubts so much that people would accept them if they knew he was trans*, if they knew why he was really here.
- untrusting and stubborn - he doesn't trust people, and he's very stubborn and stuck in his ideas. he won't let himself trust anyone, and he won't let himself keep his friends close. he is very stuck on his political ideas as well, and can be rather closed-minded.
Fears:
- forever/infinity - the idea of staying 18 forever is terrifying. forever is a long time. it's a long time for anything. the people he sees here are the people he will be saying for the rest of eternity, and to aj, there is nothing quite as terrifying as that.
- spiders - yugh. spiders. every time aj sees one, his hair curls for hours, and he feels like spiders are crawling under his clothes.
General Description: aj gets along with just about everyone. he keeps a lot of acquaintances, but they never get to be more than just that. it's nice though, to have a lot of people to talk to, and a lot of people who haven't got even the slightest idea that he's got tits. he shudders to think of it, but the makeshift binders he crafted hide his already small breasts from the prying eyes of, well, everyone else. and that makes him all the more comfortable. he doesn't tell anyone his birth name, and is afraid that should he ever get close to someone, they'll find out that he's jinah, they'll find out what's under his clothes, they'll touch him. and then they'll tell everyone. and he was pretty sure there were no bridges he could throw himself off this time.
he has a pretty dry sense of humor, and tends to joke around with pretty much everyone, whether they realize he's kidding or not.
H I S T O R Y[/i]
Mother: chen park | 42 | business writing professor | alive
Father: myon park | 44 | biology professor | alive
Siblings: n/a
Pets: n/a
Other: n/a
Overview: aj was born a girl, and raised in fayetteville, west virginia. but as he grew up, he never saw himself as a girl. he never played with barbies, and he never did his hair. he never wanted pig tails or frilly red and white dresses on christmas. he slid matchbox cars across the floor, scratched up the walls, played outside, ruined his school uniform on the mud slide in the woods behind his house. as he got older, he felt more turmoil. it got harder. when he hit puberty, he started sleeping on his chest, in hopes that his boobs would stop growing. he compressed them with ace bandages, and even though he ended up bruising his ribs, he kept doing it. it was shortly thereafter he started self-harming. it wasn't in the typical places either. the razor blades edges sliced through his breasts, and he ravaged against the parts he didn't want. he didn't want to look at them. and when he did, he wanted to be sure they looked like they weren't wanted.
growing up in west virginia didn't help either. the kids aj went to high school with were rednecks, they ridiculed him not just because he looked like a boy when they saw him as a girl, but because he was asian american, because his parents weren't born in america. they teased him about his math homework, called him jay the gay, and talking to him with "ching chong." he found himself getting shoved into lockers and fighting a lot, and missed so much school due to suspension that the school was forced to hold him back to repeat his senior year again. it was shortly after beginning his senior year for the second time that aj took his own life. fayetteville, west virginia is home to one of the tallest bridges in the country: new river gorge bridge. falling felt nice, the air in his hair, and the rustling of his clothes. he thought death would be a release, but instead, he found himself in new haven.
A B O U T Y O U[/i]
Your Name/Alias: gale
Age: 18
Time Zone: EST
Other Characters: n/a, yet
Code Words: Eaten by the Cheshire ray
Random Fact: uh. i'm the only person i know that likes public speaking.
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DATE OF DEATH: SEPTEMBER 2013
TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0 EDITED BY ALICE.
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