MORGAN, julian thomas

[julian]

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julian thomas morgan

[style=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #2D2729; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]P H Y S I C A L Hair Color: Goldenrod to Auburn Eye Color: Blue Height: 5'10” Weight: 136 lbs Distinguishing Features: Pierced ears recently and got tapers, but not sure if he wants to go through with getting big full-blown plugs. He probably will go for nothing beyond an 8 gauge. Play By: Toby Regbo General Overview: He's a bit thin for his age, but that's only because he's a dancer and he has to stay trim and fit for that. Plus, who wants to look all bulky and gross in the wrong places in a leotard? Not that he has to wear a leotard often! He used to dress flashier when that was the mode of the time. Back in his day things were different. Very different, but he is proud to say that he has never, under any circumstances, kept a mullet! He's considered getting a tattoo more than once... but forever really is forever in New Haven, so he'd really rather not. He might look like he needs to put on a few pounds, but he really doesn't. He stays his size thanks to diet and exercise, not starvation and pills like some of the dancers he's met! His hair is wavy and blondish, but he has, at one time or another, straightened and dyed it to keep up with the times. He doesn't have a particular 'look' he prefers, but just goes with whatever is in and looks nice to him. Okay, so there are some styles he now regrets... but he only did the parachute pants...and he did that douchey Hawaiian print shirt once or twice in the late eighties...but he was being ironic! Oh my god, please just stop talking about it! That was so long ago! [/style]

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[/i]
Full Name: Julian Thomas Morgan
Nicknames: Jules, also called 'Julie' by his tormentors.
Age: 16
Birthdate: November 14th , 1971
Sexuality: Gay
School: High School, Junior
Group: Murder


P E R S O N A L I T Y[/i]

Likes:

• Musical Theatre. This is his passion. He dreamt his whole life of becoming a star on Broadway... and in a way he sort of got there. He auditioned for a big production of Les Mis (Les Misérables) and got the part of Montparnasse the murderous young dandy. Though it wasn't exactly a staring role, it was still Broadway! And he'd never been happier in his entire life. He performed on Broadway a couple of times, actually, and off Broadway with the same cast a couple of times before he died.
  
• Singing. He had, and still has really, a beautiful tenor singing voice.
  
• Dancing. When he was a young boy he used to slide around the freshly waxed wooden floors of his house in his socks because they allowed him to dance. He begged for dancing lessons after he saw his older sister giving a big dance recital when he was around two or three years old. Though his father was dead-set against it, his mother gave in at last and sent him to take lessons at the same ballet studio as his older sister. And, though he was teased at first, his novelty wore off and the female dancers came to respect and even like him.
  
• Acting... these are getting kind of obvious aren't they?
  
• Drugs. This was one of his more unfortunate proclivities. He couldn't have been considered a real 'druggy' by anyone until the year he died. He just sort of smoked some pot on occasion, but then things happened... life happened really, he went through a bad breakup, stopped leaving his apartment except for rehearsals, then started leaving the apartment again, went to the wrong parties, and in the end he started to get into more serious drugs like cocaine. Then, he was on drugs to help him perform, since pretty much everyone was on them... either to help them relax, help them diet, help them stay awake during rehearsal, and so on. He was pushed around in school and it resulted in an injury that made it so he had to be on pain killers just to get by. The painkillers were addictive. He didn't realize how bad things had gotten until he was dead. Death cleaned him up pretty fast!
  
• Drinking until he passes out... or at least you'd have to assume he loves this since he did it so often towards the end of his first life. He's definitely not a fan of hangovers though. So, he got into the habit of chasing away hangovers with more alcohol. At the end of his life, he never performed sober. He didn't come in pissed-drunk, but he wasn't ever completely sober. Actually, he seemed worse off when he was sober back then.
  
• All things 'cucumber-melon' scented.
  
• Vanilla ice cream.
  
• Europop and music from the 1970's and 1980's.
  
• Any music with a good beat you can dance to.
  
• College Rock (Sigh.)
  
• Rocky Horror Picture Show--- so let me tell you a little bit about this show, honey. When it first came out in 1975, Julian was just a kid, but in a few years it became a sort of obsession of his. He was in LOVE with Tim Curry and even almost got to meet him at one point, but ended up dancing a competition instead, but c'est la vie! Anyway, he knows every single word, every single tone, every single movement to every single song in Rocky Horror. He has been to at least 100 midnight showings of the film. He can no longer watch staged productions of it, since Tim Curry was, and will forever be, Julian's Dr. Frank N. Furter.
  
• Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, you know the drill...
  

Dislikes:

• Canned peaches. The texture makes him want to vomit.
  
• People who sing out of tune. He has very close relative pitch, maybe even perfect pitch, and hearing detuned singing literally hurts to hear.
  
• The sound of electronic pencil sharpeners.
  
• The smell of gasoline.
  
• Being all warm and cosy in bed and then realizing that he has to pee, then when he finally comes back to bed being unable to find the same perfect and comfortable position.
  
• People who are disrespectful in a theatre... especially live theatre! It really does throw the actors, and he knows this first hand. He actually had a scene partner who stopped mid line to throw his prop at some very rude audience members, and the best part is he had good aim and didn't break character! That guy was Julian's hero for that.
  
• Telemarketers, 'nuff said.
  
• Nickelback, because, seriously, what musician likes them?
  
• Homophobes and other bigots.
  
• Conservatives. Maybe he wouldn't have such a big problem with them if they would change their stance on gay rights. He doesn't know anything about the economy or foreign policy himself, and doesn't know whether liberals or conservatives are better for the country on either of those fronts, but the Republican stance on gay rights is unacceptable! Plus, he has a lot of feminist friends who would never speak to him again if he voted conservative. Anyway, he doesn't really know what he's talking about half the time with politics. He just thinks he does.
  
• Realtors... they are just kind of creepy to him. Maybe it has something to do with their dead eyes and plastic too-white smiles. Or it could be the fact that they have no souls.
  
• People who complain too much, though he's kind of a hypocrite here. But, seriously! If you're going to be an actor/dancer/musician/whatever, you've got to be a little bit professional about it. You'd be surprised by how many young actresses (well, they call them actors now) he's worked with who have been more concerned about their make up than their actual work! Believe it or not, most professionals will not tolerate prima donnas. Julian certainly has no patience for them!
  

Strengths:

• He is very good at what he does (musical theatre) and loves his work. He is very professional and completely committed to his craft. He could never be a theatre actor because he emotes so much when he acts, with his whole body, and that makes him perfect for musical theatre.
  
• He's great at sight reading music and doing cold reads of scripts.
  
• He can roll his tongue?
  
• He gives his scene partners a lot of energy and emotion to work off of.
  
• He memorizes lines quickly and can run off monologues at the drop of a hat.
  
• He's got very good pitch, though this can sometimes be a hindrance when people around him are singing out of tune.
  

Weaknesses:

• He can't take personal criticism, though he is all right with constructive criticism in the right context. He takes things personally.
  
• He doesn't apply himself when he thinks he will fail. The one great exception is in the arts, where he feels completely at home even when treading over new territory. Art is all about discovery, after all.
  
• He's often too critical of other people.
  
• He has poor coping skills.
  
• He is impulsive.
  
• Sometimes he talks too much, and too loudly.
  
• He's kind of camp, and this annoys gay people as well as straight people.
  
• He's OCD about not having doors open behind him.
  
• If there is a cricket anywhere in the house he can hear it at night, and he will tear through the wall to get that cricket and make it pay for disrupting his slumber. Sometimes he wonders if the crickets in New Haven met untimely ends and were now living out their second lives like everyone else. It was a weird thought.
  
• He has an addictive personality.
  
• He can't hold his liquor.
  
• He was beginning to have a bit of a drinking/drug abusing problem before he died, and every so often he sort of lapses back into that alcoholic/druggy mental state when he is severely depressed.
  
• He tends to think that, just because he has lived this long, he knows everything. Because of his physical age and the structure of his brain he is just like a very worldly teenager and not completely like an adult (though this isn't necessarily true for other people). He has never lost that illness that strikes many older teenagers and twenty-somethings: he thinks that he knows everything and has something to say about everything even when he has no idea what he is talking about.
  

Fears:

• Homophobes. He was the victim of a hate crime. He was murdered by a group of cowardly bigots. He becomes physically ill at the sight of people who look like they might be the type to say... beat a gay or effeminate man to death.
  
• Failure. This is a problem for him because he finds he can't get things done because he is so afraid of failing. He would rather not try something at all than be terrible at it. In all areas except the arts, he refuses to apply himself just to avoid disappointment.
  
• Fire. He was burnt alive. He was concious when his body was burnt. Now he can't even get near a barbecue. The smell of gasoline fills him with dread.
  
• The Dark. He was murdered on a dark night in a dark back lot behind the threatre. He can't walk to his car alone in the dark to this day.
  

General Description: Julian is really a good and driven kid. Sometimes he's even sweet. He can be a bit sarcastic and negative at times, but that's just his sense of humour. He doesn't really mean to rain on anyone's parade. He has had problems with depression since he can remember, though he was only diagnosed with a major depressive disorder when he was fourteen and then put into therapy that actually seemed to help. When he is depressed he is very hard to talk to. But, when he is not incredibly depressed he is buoyant and social. He has a tendency to randomly burst into song, but most of his friends (at least when he was alive) were in musical theatre and would sing right along with him. He has memorized the lines in about 100 films he quotes from them all the time while his friends quote lines right back, for example one conversation might go like this:

Friend: “[Insert name here] knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.”
Julian: “That's why her hair is so big... it's full of secrets.”

He loved his friends when he was alive, and he loves the friends he's made since. Sometimes it's like he never even died and just... went to college or something! It's strange for Julian to even imagine what his life might have been like had he lived past sixteen years old. Maybe he would have found love... gotten a job, a house, adopted some babies, settled down! Now, that was something he'd like to see. Sometimes he thinks that his death was actually the best thing that could happen to him, since it means that he will always be at his physical peak for dancing, even if it means he'll have to change his name and his hair before he ever attempts to act in any major Broadway productions in the future. But... eternal youth baby!


H I S T O R Y[/i]

Mother: Suzanne, retired art teacher, now the owner of an organic grocery store chain
Father: David, retired CPA
Sister: Colette, retired professional ballet dancer, now a dance teacher and mother of three.
Brother: _______ or, He-who-must-not-be-named... and no, I do not mean the Dark Lord V*ld*m*rt (DECEASED) Julian doesn't want to talk about his brother, just now. He'll probably see him around at some point, anyway, due to _______'s stupid decision. Julian really does love _______, but he can't help but feel somewhat responsible for his death. That guilt turned easily into anger, but at least they'll have plenty of time to work things out, since ______ died young enough to come to New Haven.
Pets: Lucy, golden retriever and best friend (DECEASED). Is it weird that he cried more when he found out that Lucy died than that he, himself, was dead and could never see his family again? Is it weird that he sometimes still wakes up and thinks that he'd going to find her sleeping at the foot of his bed? Is it weird that he's had entire relationships that have lasted him more years than he ever had Lucy in his life and he still misses the dog more than he has ever missed another human being? No, it isn't, because Lucy was a pretty damn good dog and friend.
Overview: Julian was born into a well-to-do but not disgustingly rich family. Julian's brother, _______ was at times Julian's best friend and other times his worst enemy. His older sister Colette was six years older than Julian and shared his love of dance though she never could quite understand his passion for musical theatre. Anyway, it was thanks to Colette that Julian ever got to dance. She started taking ballet lessons when she was about three and a half and never stopped dancing. Julian was exposed to the dance studio early on because of that and expressed his desire to dance as soon as he could speak in full sentences.

Music lessons and acting came not long after that. Suzanne realized that Julian was both talented and cute, and just perfect to capitalize on before long, and had him doing commercials before he started pre-school. Don't get me wrong--- she put him into those commercials with good intentions. Every cent he made went into his college fund. Making money isn't always such a bad thing. And, he loved acting, anyway. In a commercial for sugary cereal he was allowed to eat as much of that nutrition-less garbage for the duration of the shooting. He even landed a few roles in television programmes as minor characters.

He was a little bit of a little priss when he was a little boy. He didn't want to get his hands dirty to the point where it was pretty ridiculous. He wouldn't play in the sand box or go to the beach with his little friends because he didn't want to get sand in his shoes. Maturity fixed that up for him, and he learned eventually that you don't have to try to impress people with everything you do, and that the best friends are the ones you don't feel you have to show off with.

Yes, he was gay. That was pretty obvious pretty early on. He wasn't shy about it, and some people loved him for that. Other people hated him for it, especially when he got to junior high school. He learnt to ignore them for the most part, though it did hurt badly at times and there were some lows that he never thought he'd climb out of. For the most part he was well adjusted and coping well. By the time he reached high school, things were getting better all the time. He had loads of friends at school. He had decided that television wasn't for him and that his passion in life was musical theatre, that he was going to dedicate his life to it.

Family life wasn't bad either. Colette was engaged to one of her former directors (go figure!) and though she wasn't dancing as much as she used to, she was still very much in the dancing world. She was thinking of starting up her own dance studio, and thought that maybe Julian would come help out some time, maybe teaching the little kids how to dance. Julian loved the idea. _______ wasn't being as moody, distant, or scary as usual. That was a plus! Sometimes Julian wanted to tell his brother everything, but most of the time he wasn't sure whether _______ was a kindred spirit or just another wolf waiting for a sheep to stray from the pack. Of course, they fought more than Julian would have liked, looking at it all in retrospect, but they had developed a sort of respect for one and other, he thought. And, as much as they fought as kids, Julian had always loved _______.

In his last year of life, things started to go wrong for Julian. Well, things went right too, in some ways. He was getting decent grades, though they had dropped a bit from the previous year. He'd secured a part in Les Mis on Broadway, and it put him the closest he would ever be to fulfilling his life long dream of becoming a Broadway star. After he died, he realized that the 'star' aspiration was a silly and childish one, but it didn't keep him from dreaming about it. Sometimes he still dreams of those magical moments he spent on that stage. Anyway, what went wrong was that the benign taunts from bullies that had followed Julian through school were becoming actual threats of violence. He became afraid to go to school. At the time he was living alone for the first time in his life, and going to school in New York because of Les Mis, and the city seemed bigger and more intimidating all the time. It was easy to become lost in it.

Julian wasn't seriously into drugs or anything. He just used occasionally. He drank a lot, but he didn't let it affect his work. He was finally free of his parents! He was expected to party a little! So, he was trying new things. Sure, everyone had always said (in the corniest way possible) that drugs were bad, but it's not like he was injecting heroin into his eyeballs on a daily basis or anything. It was a competitive field. Drug use ran rampant in the dance and theatre community in those days. He was just experimenting. And, he'd been injured in a very one-sided confrontation at school with some homophobic idiots and he had to be on pain killers to perform. Anyway, that's not what got him killed. What got him killed was someone else's hatred. Someone else's bigotry killed Julian. He had just finished a performance... he was walking out of the back of the theatre so that he wouldn't be swamped with well wishers or destroy the magic of the piece by showing himself in street clothes to the people who had just seen the performance. It was dark out, the darkest it had ever been since he'd come to New York. He was ambushed by several young men. They were people he knew, actually, guys that had been tormenting him in school. His heart and all of the blood in his body turned to ice the moment he saw them and realized that he was surrounded.

What happened next isn't worth writing about. In short, he was beaten until he couldn't move, stuffed into a dumpster, covered in gasoline, and lit on fire. Julian's charred remains weren't discovered until the next morning when some unfortunate hobo stumbled over the remains as he was searching for a meal. The murderers were never brought to justice. When Julian woke up he was heart broken. He saw his own face on the news. They suspected the hobo, but eventually found a solid alibi for the poor man. That was some consolation.

It was the 4th of July. Nobody noticed the smell of fire or burning meat. People were setting off illegal fireworks left and right and having barbecues too. There was noise. The Macy's 4th of July fireworks were going off over the Hudson River. The building blocked out the light and the sound of that back lot. Julian wouldn't have been heard if he'd screamed on a megaphone.

Julian knows who killed him, and more than once he has considered going after them... but the risk of being recognized in New York was too high, and he didn't want to risk killing his killers and having them end up in New Haven! But, now that they're too old for New Haven... well, he doesn't know. He did consider killing them more than once, but then he found that they all had children and families now, with the exception of one who would go on to commit another murder and would die in prison. He couldn't see himself killing anyone with a family, even if he could kill someone after what they did to him. After what they did to his brother, _______ , even if their influence was indirect. _______'s death came a bit later than Julian's, but Julian couldn't help but believe that it was somehow related to his own death. The thought of _______ throwing his life away for Julian angers him more than he can put into words. _______ was supposed to be the big brother, anyway. He was supposed to give their parents a son to fulfil their dreams for a son when Julian could not. He had an obligation to their parents. But, of course, some part of Julian knows that blaming _______ for dying is really quite selfish. And, even if he is furious with his brother, some part of him is glad that he died young enough to come to New Haven so that they could be together once again. Forever.

Sometimes he hears about hate crimes in the news, but he tries to tune out. It makes him sick. They never classified his death as a hate crime because they never found a motive for it. When he heard about the Matthew Shepard murder in 1998 he didn't leave the house for about a week. He saw those hateful people protesting with "god hates fags" signs at the funeral and it broke his heart. Then, one day, he actually met Matthew Shepard (who died at the age of 21) in New Haven and felt much better because he seemed happy and well adjusted even though he'd been tortured to death. They keep an email correspondence these days.

As of yet, Julian has been in several long term relationships, but none of them have really left a huge impression on him. Sometimes he wonders if that is his fault, if maybe the lack of impression says something about his failure to make deep connections. Maybe the part of him that made deep connections died the day he did. It's a disturbing thought.


A B O U T Y O U[/i]

Your Name/Alias: Simon
Age: 18
Time Zone: Pacific
Other Characters: Nil
Code Words: STOLEN BY ALICE
Random Fact: I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.


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DATE OF DEATH: JULY 4, 1987

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TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0 EDITED BY ALICE.

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[ALICE IN WANDERLAND]

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